Millie's Breast Augmentation Blog

I've been strapped!

2008-04-29T13:14:00.002-05:00

Well the first 2 weeks weren't horribly slow, but I truly haven't missed having to plan my wardrobe around sports bras!

At my 3 week check, Dr. Vanek and I noticed a little tension area at the bottom of my right breast, which is what I saw before my capsulectomy, so Dr. Vanek recommended that I wear this strap thing for 6-8 hours a day to help the implant move in and down. At first the strap didn't seem so bad, but within a few hours I was already sick of it! It sort of rubbed right under my arm, in the armpit area, and made it difficult to wear anything but baggy shirts to hide it. I've gotten to the point where I make sure it's on by 7:30 in the morning so I can have it off at 3:30 in the afternoon when my kids get home and I have to start working on dinner. It's a huge sigh of relief every day when I can reach into my shirt and release the Velcro....ahhhhhhhh!

Dr. Vanek informed me that I would probably wear the strap for a month or 2, and warned me that it would annoy me but not to get so nuts with wearing it all day and driving myself crazy. Unfortunately, it's been almost 3 weeks since I started wearing it, and I swear, my left side is bottoming out because of it. It's like since my left side was already perfect and fine, the damn strap caused the implant to shift too far down. I am hoping and praying that I am imagining things, but I did call the doc today and he told me to stop wearing the strap. I already have an appt. with him for a check next week, so I'm going to stay calm until then. I was planning on actually running at the gym tonight, my first time since my capsulectomy, but he advised me against it. I guess I'll stick to walking for now, maybe the stationary bike even. I really hope that I am just crazy and there's nothing wrong with my left breast. Keep your fingers crossed for me please!

Recovery

2008-04-01T10:16:00.004-05:00

When I woke up from surgery, there was a nurse taking my vitals, and asking me how I felt. I was surprised, but I had some pretty decent pain, like maybe a 6 on a scale of 1-10, so I asked for some pain meds. My vitals were stable, and after a second dose of pain medicine thru my IV, they transferred me back to the little cubby I was in while waiting for surgery.

I was shocked, but the nurses had me stand and transfer back into that recliner chair. Now, I don't know about everyone else, but after surgery, I'm still a little groggy and sleepy from the anesthesia. Imagine how tough it was to try to get comfortable and rest while sitting up in a chair, without the legs reclined or anything. At this point, not having a tv or even a small radio was more than a small annoyance for me. I was too groggy to try to read anything, too uncomfortable to sleep, and there was nothing else to do. Now I realize it was my fault that I didn't have my hubby there to keep my company, but quite frankly, I didn't want to talk, I wanted to rest.

I continued to have like this burning pain in my right breast, and at one point I did hit the call button and ask a nurse about it. She checked the incision, said it was oozing a little bit, which was normal, and then left. After Dr. Vanek came in to check on me, he did ask them to give me 2 Percocet for the pain, which is twice the amount ordered for me to take once I get home. Anyway, the nurse gives me the meds, and 10 minutes later comes back to let me know that my husband is outside waiting to pick me up. One of my little ones fell asleep, so he just stayed in the car. She hands me the bag with my personal belongings in it, tells me to get dressed, walks out and closes the curtain. I'm sitting there thinking, " Well, this should be fun. All drugged up and I get to get dressed without any help!" Anyway, I got myself dressed, coat and shoes on, and I opened the curtain up to let them know I was ready to go. The nurse comes back after a few minutes, and has me walk out of the recovery area and out to the waiting room to meet my husband. Seriously, women have babies and fricken get a wheelchair to take them to the car. But I guess since it was an elective surgery for my boob, I get to walk. Add some Percocet and the whole thing becomes a lot more fun for everyone.

I did make it to the car, just about the time I thought I was going to vomit all over the place. Fortunately, I got the seat to recline back a bit, and I closed my eyes while my hubby drove us to get some Boston Market. I had only eaten some Lorna Doone cookies and that was after surgery and not nearly enough to combat the nausea that Percocet can cause. We also had to stop at the drugstore to fill some antibiotic prescriptions for the little ones, who had been at the pediatrician while I was in surgery and diagnosed with ear infections and colds.

By the time we made it home, I really didn't think I could eat anything. I tried several times to eat small bites of vegetables and some turkey, but each time I felt like it would be jumping back out of my mouth before I could get it swallowed. I was very upset with the care I received, and called my mom to have a good cry about the whole thing and just to get some reassurance that the pain and nausea would go away and that I would be fine. Talk about being a baby!

I got thru the night with the help of Percocet. Sleeping in the Lazy Boy isn't nearly as comfortable when you know you have to be there instead of your bed. Fortunately, HSN and QVC seem to run the best darn stuff in the middle of the night, so I had a whole list of things to buy by the time my hubby woke up in the morning. ( I was with phone but without credit card during the night! ) It's funny, but after just a few days, even my kids knew to put the TV on Home Shopping Network before they went to bed hehe!

The pain was more of a burning feeling, and I definately felt yuckier than I did with my initial BA and lift. I met with Dr. Vanek the day after surgery and was transferred into my sports bra. God, how I didn't miss having to wear those 24/7. The next 2 weeks are going to drive me insane!

Surgery time again!

2008-03-25T07:48:00.003-05:00

I wish I could say that my capsulectomy surgery was as good of an experience as my initial BA and lift, but I was at a different facility this time and they really didn't do much to make me feel comfortable. When I arrived for my surgery, there was only a very short 5 min wait before the nurse came out and got me. We shared some small talk as she showed me to a small cubicle with one of those hospital "recliner" chairs in it. After verifying my name etc, she took my vitals and asked me a few questions about when and what I had eaten last. She then left me with a bag to place my belongings into and had me get changed into that lovely hospital gown and footies. I was glad to be told I could wear my undies this time around! Must have to do with the fact this surgery was shorter, so no need to be catheterized.

Anyway, the nurse came back and started hunting down my veins so she could begin my IV. Now in the past, I have had issues with giving blood and getting IV's and the such, because my veins are crappy. So this part always worries me, since I am not a big fan of getting stuck a bajillion times with a needle. The nurse was good, and got the stick on the first try so I was a happy camper. After she got me all taped up, she put on my hospital ID bracelet, propped my legs up, and gave me some magazines to read while I waited. Now, I don't mind reading but it was odd to not have a small tv there for some background noise. No big deal, I was still feeling pretty calm about everything.

The anesthesiologist came in and introduced himself, asked me some questions about my past history with general anesthesia and intubations, had me sign a consent, and off he went! Dr. Vanek came in, made his marks around my right breast, and then he took off to scrub up for surgery. The nurse came back in, and helped me to walk to the surgical suite, and at this point I really started getting nervous. I mean, this is it...going back under the knife and wondering if this is all really worth it. Plus, there's a ton of nurses in surgical gowns buzzing about the room and it's freakin cold in there and my nerves are shot!

So my nurse helps me climb onto the operating table, making sure I don't bump into any of the blue sterile fields, and helps me get all situated with my gown and stuffs. Then a nurse starts putting those inflating TENS units on my legs, so I don't get blood clots, while at the same time a nurse on each side is strapping down my arms to the little arm tray thingies. So yeah, even though they are talking to me, and joking that now is about the time my nose will itch ( since I'm strapped down at this time ) I was lying there thinking how horrible all this feels. All these people doing all this stuff all at once, and then, all the sudden I feel a burning in my left arm and I look up and realize that the anesthesiologist has just put the medicine into my IV without saying boo to me about it first. Just as a side note, it's pretty much standard practice to tell your patients what your going to do BEFORE you do it. That was just awful to have him putting me under without warning me first. And I was lying there thinking that they didn't do it this way at the hospital where I had my first surgery done. I then hear that Dr. Vanek is going to hold my hand, and I did feel a hand and I did squeeze it as hard as I could as I watched the oxygen mask come down over my face. I vaguely remember saying " Take good care of me" as tears began to form and then I was out.

Next up.....Recovery!

Planning another surgery!

2008-03-04T14:30:00.006-06:00

Sheesh, less than 24 hours after scheduling my capsulectomy, I realized I had a conflict with my schedule. Fortunately, Dr. Vanek's office is completely wonderful and they were able to easily move my surgery around. I am going in on the 19th of this month, just two weeks away! I wanted to make sure to go in before Easter so that my kids are all on Spring break and I don't have to worry about driving during that first week. Supposedly this is going to be a much easier surgery than my first, although even that one seems like it was almost too easy!

So I am starting to notice more funky kinds of pain with my right breast, just goofy random little shoots of pain every once in a while. Nothing horrible, just odd. I am so nervous about the next surgery, but more because I am worried the damn implant won't go down where it is supposed to! Stupid thing is driving me crazy!

It will be nice having both breasts being pretty much the same size. Even though my implants were filled to the exact same amount, the right one just has her own issues and isn't as full as the leftie. I hate how it looks in a bra. I truly hope this surgery fixes it! I want to be done hating my right side.

I am trying so hard to get everything in order prior to surgery, but I have a lot on my plate right now and with Easter right around the corner there's a lot of family obligations. I haven't told many people about the surgery, because I don't want to deal with the questions and the hassle. Hell, I might even take a cab to and from the surgery center so that my hubby can get the kids to school and take care of the little one. We shall see!

Here we go again!

2008-02-26T07:06:00.002-06:00

Well, I saw Dr. Vanek again yesterday for my 6 month post op. We've scheduled a capsulectomy for the right breast, and he assured me he can go in and release the tension or torque in there and hopefully get that implant down where it belongs. Maybe he can have a chat with the muscles in there and get them to release their grip on the implant as well, since this right side appears to be more smooshed than my left =) Aside from that, of course everything else is perfect!

We've scheduled surgery for March 28. This seems so fast to me hehe, but they could have done it this Friday if I wanted them to! Hubby and I have already decided that I will wait at least 4-5 weeks before heading back into the gym and running/lifting. There's no proof that waiting the recommended 3 weeks wasn't enough, but we're just really trying not to take any chances this time. However, I am signed up for the Cleveland Breast Cancer 3 day, where participants walk 60 miles over 3 days, so I am relieved that I will be able to immediately return to gentle walking the day after surgery. My training schedule begins in April so I want to make sure I'm in good shape to begin!

That's about it for now, hopefully this surgery will go as smoothly as the last and my breast will finally go where she should and I won't have to go under the knife again for a very long time!

More surgery ahead

2008-02-07T10:22:00.000-06:00

Well I saw Dr. Vanek for a check up, and he does still acknowledge the difference between my breasts. He feels (as do my hubby and I) that the difference isn't the most horrible thing ever seen, but I do strongly feel self conscious about it. It's even noticeable in my most recent pics. So Dr. Vanek feels that a capsulectomy can be done on the right side, which basically means going into the crease incision and cutting away at some scar tissue and allowing that pocket to be recreated or whatnot. At least, that's what I got from our conversation anyway hehe. He told me the scar would be small, and the surgery much shorter than my previous with the lift. I'm thinking this sounds pretty good for making that right breast go where she should!

After discussing that right side issue, he also asked me about whether or not I wanted to go with larger implants, since I will be going into surgery anyway, he could place new implants at the same time. He told me he would do a capsulectomy on the left side, to open up the pocket some more or whatever, and both breasts could get some new implants. We proceeded with the fun of trying out new sizes, and both of us felt I could easily go up to 525cc on each side. It wouldn't be that huge of a difference, but maybe, just maybe, be that little extra bit I've been wishing I had :)

So with all this talk of surgery and sizes, my mind was swimming and we both felt like I needed to talk with my hubby and we needed to decide together where to go from here. When I got the estimates for the surgeries (one for just the fix and one for new implants) I just sort of looked the over briefly and mentioned the numbers to my husband. With our cruise only days away, we don't have a whole lot of time to worry about a redo and quite frankly, I'm still paying off my original surgery. I'm sort of bummed out right now....I want my right breast to look as beautiful as my left, but I wonder if the difference is enough to warrant another couple grand. Decisions, Decisions!

After the vacation I'll have to do some soul searching and figure out what to do. I know my husband will support any decision I make, but I may have a long battle ahead of me LOL. Wish me luck!

5 months and counting!

2008-01-21T07:50:00.000-06:00

It's hard to believe it has already been just over 5 months since my augmentation. I am definately more used to the bigger breasts, and even though rightie isn't where she should be, I am still happy that I chose to have the surgery. Yes, I need to have another one to get the right side where she should be, but I know once we achieve that, I will finally feel like my breasts are completely perfect!

I wore a bathing suit last week for the first time since surgery. What a trip that was! I went to a specialty swimwear shop near my home to help me find something appropriate, and I quickly found that having larger breasts presents nearly the same problems as having small breasts LOL! I was looking for something that I could do laps in the pool as well as something I can wear on our cruise in a few weeks. Unfortunately the best I found was a simple black one piece with extra support for my girls. Functionality over fashion in this case! Anyway, I was able to do my laps in the pool without any problems, and funny enough, I found a much cheaper cute bikini at Target a week later so I might still have something cute for our cruise! I firmly believe that there are some things I just shouldn't wear regardless of the number on the scale or the size of my jeans, and a bikini falls into that category. This one has a really nice cut on the top which doesn't make my girls look huge or trashy, and the bottoms are nice as well. I was shocked as I stood in the changing room after having tried on 2 tankinis and found a bikini ( something I haven't worn in 6 years ) that looked better than the other two suits. Long story short, this bikini is hanging in my kitchen, and I have a serious love-hate relationship with it right now. Yes, this is just like that Yoplait or whatever yogurt commercial that we've all seen on TV. I still have the tags on it and the receipt in case I chicken out and decide I can't wear it.

I am able to sleep comfortably on my tummy now, I have bought several more gorgeous and sexy bras from VS, and I generally love my choice to get implants. I do tend to turn away from anyone who may be standing near me at the locker room at the gym, because I am scared of any wierd looks other women might give me because of my anchor lift scars. I am tanning now tho, and they don't seem near as noticeable, but I think I am actually supposed to cover them up. I will have to ask about that! I see Dr. Vanek in a week and I will update with his recommendations for rightie.

So long ago

2007-10-30T11:07:00.001-05:00

It seems like it was so long ago that I had my breast augmentation. It is still something I am aware of on a daily basis, my breasts are softer than they have been but still do not feel natural. I continue to be uncomfortable lying down on my stomach, but I'm told many women with large breasts ( augmented or natural ) are uncomfortable in that position. However these things seem so minor to me, and really are just things I take note of so that I can give people honest opinions and tales of my experience.

The weather has turned cooler here, and I am finally starting to wear some of the new long sleeved shirts I bought from Victoria's Secret. Life is like a double edged sword for me right now....as much as I adore the lingering looks of approval from my hubby, I often have to remind him, " Down boy! " Something else I have noticed is an increasing interest from him where I am going when I get dressed and get ready in the morning. Like last week I took my 2 little ones to the pediatrician for a sick visit, and hubby gave me the third degree about the top I was wearing and the makeup I was putting on. The shirt was not revealing or even slightly inappropriate, but I think he's getting a little jealous? Regardless, when I get dressed and ready to leave the house or have company, I do it for me so that I can feel confident and good about myself. The initial attitude of " Let's show off the boobies! " has waned a bit, and now I am enjoying the feminine shape I see when I pass by a mirror.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, rightie is STILL higher than leftie. She also still does not have the projection. I keep praying and hoping, but there very well may be a redo in my future. I think I remember Dr. Vanek mentioning he would be able to go in an just open up the pocket a little more on the right side, and that could be done around 6 months. But I am taking a cruise at the 6 month mark so it will have to wait longer. That's why I keep praying for the best, because even though I can minimize the difference while wearing a bra, I'm pretty sure it will be quite noticeable in a bathing suit. I push the implants around and up and down and together on a daily basis, maybe one day I will wake up and not see any difference. Hey, a girl can always dream can't she?

What a week!

2007-10-19T13:15:00.000-05:00

Well, my 8 week post op mark came with some added stress! 2 days prior to my milestone and appointment with Dr. Vanek, a train decided to fall off the tracks near my home, and forced an evacuation for me and several hundred surrounding homes. Fortunately, no one was hurt during the derailment and subsequent clean up ( which continues even now, 10 days later! ) but the 4 days spent away from my home was a very tough time for me.

My 8 week mark was on day 2 of evacuation, and even though I am sure Dr. Vanek would have understood if I had cancelled my appointment, I wanted to make sure my boobs were in good shape. Like I told my husband, we paid alot of money for these girls, and I am going to make sure they are in tip top shape! I was able to verify the time of my appointment during one of my 10 minute police escorts into my home ( that's all we were allowed due to the danger of the fire that was still burning! ) so I made sure to leave my in laws in plenty of time to get to his office on schedule ( they live just over an hour away. ) My husband waited in the car in the parking lot with all the kids during my appointment, thankfully everyone was exhausted and he didn't have too terrible of a time with them. Our 4 year old even managed to lose his first tooth while waiting in the car, the tooth fairy visited him in the hotel later that night!

I was sitting in the exam room half asleep with a pumpkin spice latte in my hands when Dr. Vanek came in. He was aware of the derailment and such, and we chatted briefly about how it was affecting my home. During the physical exam, he did acknowledge the visual difference between my breasts. Rightie continues to sit higher than leftie, and doesn't have near the projection. He does feel that I have much more healing to do, as 8 weeks post op is still very early in this waiting game, but we did discuss what sort of options there are if she decides to be stubborn and stay where she is. He explained that no sooner than 6 months he could go in and try to re-open rightie's pocket. While pressing the implant down tho, he noted that it is able to settle down in there, so he recommended manually pushing the implant down on a regular basis. He also said I could wear the compression strap, which I agreed to, but the office didn't have one big enough for me. ( I took it as a compliment, my girlies are nice and big! )

My visit was comforting to me, it reinforced that I am not crazy about noting the difference, but also made me feel better about the possibility that it may all fall into place on it's own. I don't enjoy the thought of a redo so early in the game, but I will go down that road when necessary. I'm not so insane about the difference anymore, wearing regular bras has helped to hide it somewhat, at least under my shirts.

I'm at a place right now where when I am fully clothed and see myself in the mirror, I feel perfectly shaped. My breasts have given me a cute little curvy and feminine shape that I didn't have before, and I am totally embracing it! I have high hopes that this is only going to get better!

Showing them off!

2007-10-15T14:00:00.000-05:00

I finally made it back to Victoria's Secret and did ultimately buy myself 2 new bras. One has underwire so I won't be wearing it anytime soon, while my crease scars are healing, but the other is the wireless Angel and I love it! I bought it in a nude color, so now I can wear whatever top I want! I wore a white ribbed V neck tank top that I had worn prior to surgery and WOWSERS does it look different ( better! ) now.

We celebrated my daughter's second birthday with a small family party, and I wore the striped Gap shirt with the new bra. Oh my.....talk about fun! The only negative thing I can say is that the outfit drives my hubby insane and he gets all hornbally and stuff =) I think I can handle it tho!

Running on the treadmill is finally feeling less " weird. " I continue to wear 2 sports bras, and I've noticed that the one combo is the one that causes the air pocket in my cleavage. I think I may just give up on the one over the head sports bra, because that's the one that causing the problem. It's rough running and trying to reach down your shirt and adjust yourself lol!

I will be seeing Dr. Vanek for my 8 week check, and I want to discuss the asymmetry between the breasts. Aside from that, I am loving my girls and have no complaints at all. I do still feel like breast augmentation was a good choice for me!

Is this thing ever going to drop?

2007-10-15T13:51:00.000-05:00

Well 6 weeks post op hasn't been such a great milestone for me. I tried on some of the new tops I have been buying, and the asymmetry that was noticeable from day one appears to be even more noticeable to me now. I mean, you can even see it in pictures when I am wearing the tops! After my husband and I took the new pics, I just became depressed and frustrated. I really am trying to be patient, but it is very hard!

Aside from the dropping and projection issue that rightie is giving me, both of the girls are feeling so soft and my morning boob is slowly disappearing. I'm not sure if I have discussed " morning boob " before, but in a nutshell it is just that when I first wake up in the morning, both breasts feel very heavy and I feel like I need to hold them as I sit up and get out of bed. It's slowly improving with each passing day, and I am told soon I won't even notice anything. I am realizing that I'm starting to be so comfortable with my breasts, they don't feel so much like some imposters planted on my chest!

Every morning I put my Kelo-Cote on my scars and Cocoa butter on the breast tissue surrounding them . Everything seems to be healing like it should, and I think if rightie could just start to look like leftie then I will feel like I have the most perfect set of breasts ever created. I might not even have anything to complain about and what the heck will we do then??!

Too good to last!

2007-09-25T07:17:00.000-05:00

I bought that Ipex wireless bra from Victoria's Secret, and rushed home to try it on and see how it looked under a fitted t-shirt. I wasn't really happy with the side cleavage I felt, and in the shirt I looked wierd. Dr. Vanek and I had spoken during my consultations regarding "side boob" but up to this point I had never felt any. I wonder if maybe that's because I am always wearing a sports bra that yanks em together and keeps them in place. Regardless, I was disappointed with the new bra and stormed off to bed. Fortunately, I was able to return the bra without any problems and will probably go there again soon to try on some different bras. I really hate not being able to wear certain shirts because I don't have anything but sports bras! I've heard Nordstroms has a really great bra selection, maybe I should try there!

On Saturday my husband and I decided to work out together at the gym. We checked the 2 little ones into Childwatch so we could both get our workout done. It's funny, but I'm such a competetive person and every few minutes I would look over and check his speed/resistance/incline etc to try to one up him. Even tho my husband works out 7 days a week as opposed to my 5, I don't think he does the cardio workout that I do. We did the recumbent bike, the Wave machine thingy, the Stairmaster, and then 20 mins on the treadmill. Total cardio time was 50 mins and I don't think he's used to that. Anyway, I was wearing an over the head high impact sports bra, and a zip up sports bra on top of that one. While I was running on the treadmill it almost seemed like I got an air pocket or something between my breasts. They felt really funny, like I wanted to reach in there and move them apart for a second, but how the heck do you do that in the middle of the gym?! I'll apologize in advance for saying this, but it seemed like my boobs were farting! It hasn't felt that way again since then, so maybe it was just an oddity. I surely hope so!

I continue to watch the right breast like a maniac, I pray every single day that it drops and settles the way leftie has. I mean, it doesn't even have the projection that the left one has, like it is way smooshed and way noticeable. My husband keeps telling me to be patient, and I keep telling him I am trying =)

I got measured!

2007-09-19T14:28:00.000-05:00

Last night I decided to head over to my local Victoria's Secret store and get my first official measurement since surgery. They just relocated in the mall, and the new store is fabulous! My head started swimming while browsing all the lingerie I'm going to be buying once I get all dropped and fluffed and stuff =)

The store was busy, but I managed to find a wonderful associate who took me back into the dressing rooms to get me measured. When you walk in the individual room the mirror has the word " Strip " on it. ( Sounded fitting to me! ) Anyway, she uses her nifty measuring tape and tells me that I am a 34D to DD. My mouth hit the floor and I squealed " really??? " as she turned to grab a few bras for me to try on. First one was just the D cup, and it was a little snug in there, so she had me try on the DD. Let me tell you, I just loved that girl AND that bra! Turns out it was their new wireless Ipex bra, which is perfect for me since wireless is a no no because of my crease incision.

I'm standing there wondering if I should pay 50 bucks for a bra that may not fit in another 4-6 weeks when I decided to ask about a plunge bra for this new VS blouse that was delivered via Fed Ex earlier in the day. The shirt also has more of an open back so I am already expecting a bit of trouble when it comes to finding a bra for it...I may end up just wearing pasties hehe. She had me try on this underwire convertible bra with clear straps, and I was not a fan of that bra. Not just because of the underwire, but the clear straps were digging into my shoulders. Then when we replaced them with the other straps, the cup started to bulge. I tightened up the straps and then the cups bulged in a different spot. Not pretty I tell you!

I came out of the dressing room in good spirits, loving the wireless Ipex and wanting one right now! However I allowed my sensibility to rule my actions and decided to wait and call Dr. Vanek's office in the AM and ask what the probability was that I wouldn't fit in it in a few months. I even went to Walmart to buy a few more sports bras and maybe a cheapy 34D just to hold me over until I can get that VS one. Well, there is a reason those bras are so cheap. Darned things made me look like I had torpedos coming off my chest!! I decided on just 2 more sports bras and got the heck out of there. My girls were getting irritated from all the trying on, and my skin was becoming dry as well.

All in all, it was a great night. And I did speak with Dr. Vanek this morning ( It's very odd to have the doctor himself return your phone call! ) and I got the go ahead to purchase the Ipex. I will be heading to VS in a few hours after my hubby gets home. Who knows, maybe I'll even find something he'll like while I am there =)

No black eyes!

2007-09-18T14:58:00.000-05:00

I was pretty nervous this morning as I headed to the gym. I was wearing 2 sports bras just like Dr. Vanek had suggested, but it still feel a little nerve-wracking to think I was going to let the girls bounce all over the place!

After 15 mins on the stationary bike, I decided to give the Precor EFX a try, a machine I used daily prior to my surgery. The reason I had avoided it since then was because I tend to put it at it's highest incline and I worried that might move the boobs around too much. I was right about the jiggling around, but since I was wearing both those bras, I only felt funny, they didn't actually go anywhere. After 15 mins of that, I figured the treadmill couldn't be much different. Now I've walked at a fast pace on the treadmill since surgery, but haven't actually run on it. So after 3 mins warming up I decided to jack the speed up and take off.

Oooo-kay after a minute and a half of jogging I slowed back down to my fast walk. It definitely felt different to jog with these things. It wasn't painful, but it felt different than before. I managed to pump out 25 mins on the treadmill, with 2.5 min intervals between walking and running. By the time I was done, I felt a ton more comfortable with the whole running thing and am looking forward to tomorrow. It felt awesome to get my old routine back!

While resting between a set of arm exercises, I realized how important it had been for me to hear Dr. Vanek give me full clearance yesterday. I returned to the gym at 3 weeks, but I was always scared to do any exercises that utilized my pecs. If I felt them flex the slightest bit I would back off and either lighten the load or just abandon the exercise completely. I won't ever do butterflies or anything like that again, but I realized that I can use the muscles without damaging the implants. No more freaking out when I feel them move; now I can just enjoy this amazing boob sweat I get!

4 weeks post op!

2007-09-17T12:26:00.000-05:00

I went in for my 4 week check with Dr. Vanek, and told him about wanting to go bigger in size. Realistically, it's far too soon for me to make that decision and I knew it before even bringing up the subject with him! I think he knows what an impatient person I am, and reminded me that I need to allow the healing process to take place. We talked about the implants dropping even more, and he told me to start pushing down on them to help get em where they need to be. Prior to this time, I was only allowed to push them up or together, not down. What a goofy feeling when he was showing me what to do. I haven't been that "rough" with the girls and I wasn't used to all that movement/pressure, but he assured me that everything was fine and I wouldn't pop em! It's still scary for me tho hehe!

I also made sure to ask specifically if I could start running again. Even though I returned to the gym last week, I haven't done any running because I didn't want to compromise my results. I tried for like 20 secs yesterday, but woah that was a crazy feeling! He said I can return to all my normal activities, running included, but some woman are more comfortable wearing 2 sports bras. I had already read about wearing 2 while running, so it didn't surprise me to hear him say it. I'm a little nervous for tomorrow though, which will be my first real attempt since having my surgery. Wish me luck!

On a more personal side, everything is going wonderfully for me. I was thinking that a month ago on today's date, I was in surgery getting my new additions! It really is amazing how fast time flies. Both breasts are feeling softer to me when I massage them. I've been very diligent about using the Kelo Cote every day, and I think my scars look amazing. I still have to remind myself to massage them, and it isn't always in the most appropriate places (riding in the car when hubby is driving!) but I am making sure to be diligent about that as well because it helps keep that hard thick scar tissue from forming.

Speaking of my husband...sheesh....Let me just say this to anyone considering this surgery. Be prepared to have your sex life explode! We had a good sex life before surgery, but now it's....WOW. And it's ALOT! It's not just about my husband being a hornball, it's about me feeling really sexy. And I think it all comes down to that really; I feel more confident about how I look, and that has a ripple effect. But in all honesty, my husband really does love my new boobs, and he can't seem to get enough of them! He's always offering to help massage them, but I have to be mindful of the timing and situation because when he helps, it always leads down another road! This has been a public service announcement, we now return to our regularly scheduled programming! =)

Boobie greed monster found me!

2007-09-14T12:43:00.000-05:00

Since surgery I've been enjoying the really easy recovery period and the fun that shopping has been. I've also been very consciously reminding myself to be patient and not expect miracles overnight. I wonder if I haven't been hiding some feelings from everyone, myself included!

Looking in the mirror is like a double edged sword. I can't help but want to see the new and improved girls, but at the same time it has been depressing me. Like, I keep thinking that I want them to be bigger. I am handling the fact that they are healing at different rates ok, but I am feeling more and more like I really want them to be bigger. And it makes me angry because these were thoughts I had before I even went in for surgery. On my first consult, we decided on 350cc, but by the time I got to my second appointment I knew I wanted to be bigger. So we decided on 375cc filled to 400. Morning of surgery I even gave verbal permission to add more than that and Dr. Vanek actually gave me 425cc. I should be so happy with the size right now but I am simply not.

I have to admit, I look natural. I am the woman Dr. Vanek spoke of during our very first meeting. The " did she or didn't she " woman. The one that everyone sees and then asks themselves if I am extremely blessed by God or if I had a boob job. It's funny the number of people who all give you their opinion on size during the planning process, and they all say the same thing which is " Don't go too big or you won't look natural! " And I told them, including my husband and mother, " I'm not paying all this money to look natural. I don't want people to hand me a pole, but I do want them large enough to get some attention! "

I also fully realize that I could only go so big on my first surgery. Dr. Vanek had explained to me during my pre op consult that he felt like 425 would be max size for this surgery, that I could go bigger later if I wanted, but my body and skin could only accommodate so much on the initial operation. And I figured at some point, when a redo was needed, that I would probably go bigger. I just never expected to feel that way this soon!

This boobie greed monster is an evil evil thing. I should have known he would find me. I keep telling myself that my breasts still have a lot of changes to go thru and that I may decide I love this size. The physical aspect of healing has been easy and perfect for me. The emotional aspect is a whole other thing and that's the part I struggle with. It's normal to go through these roller coaster feelings after surgery, I just hope it settles down soon! My 4 week check is this week, I am going to be sure to discuss this with Dr. Vanek!

I'm a soccer mom!

2007-09-12T13:50:00.000-05:00

It is amazing what new found confidence I have since my surgery. I ordered new tops from Victoria's Secret and love them! I am patiently waiting for the weather to turn cooler so that I can wear them. V and scoop necks are my new best friends!

In the meantime, I bought myself a cute little t-shirt from the Gap. I had gone in to try to find some new dress pants when I found this cute little shirt randomly thrown on an aisle display. I loved the colors and grabbed it while on my way to the fitting rooms with a few pairs of pants. As usual, the pants were a no go ( gotta love having a bubble butt! ) but that top was hot hot hot! I thought I probably should get a medium, since the one I tried on was a small and I prefer a bit more breathing room. As I reached the spot where my hubby and kids were standing, I asked them all to start looking for this shirt in a medium for me. Well, we couldn't find another one, so I did the unthinkable! I bought the damn small! It's not like it was too small, it was just....small.

So my son was having his first soccer practice/scrimmage and it was a fairly warm day. I decided that my new Gap top would be perfect with a pair of shorts and flip flops. Mind you, my hubby hadn't actually seen the shirt on me, he just knew I originally wanted a larger size. So he sees me in my shirt and chuckles that I am wearing it to the soccer field. We were also going out to lunch after so I reminded him I wanted to look cute! And besides, who says that we moms can't be hotties too?!

Anyway, things are fine at the soccer field, our son kicked butt and followed the coach's instructions to a T. ( Wish he listened to us that well! ) At the restaurant my hubby was sitting across from me and decided that my breasts looked glorious in my new shirt, and couldn't stop talking about them the whole way home, which was an hour drive! My husband has turned into some sort of hornball maniac since my surgery! I could wear a paper bag and he'd be attracted to me, but it's been amazing to see what the bigger and better breasts have done for us. Each day that passes they are getting softer and feel less like tight balls on my chest. My scars are healing beautifully and are barely noticeable around the areola. Feeling sexy has been the best thing so far since surgery, I love the confidence I have now!

Has it really been 3 weeks?

2007-09-12T13:31:00.000-05:00

On my 3 week post op day, my son attended his first day of preschool. He was so excited he told me the night before that he probably wouldn't be able to sleep very well lol! When he got up that morning he was zipping around the house like a madman!

My husband and I had already decided that we would both drive him to school that morning. Now normally my husband will take him to school, and then I will pick him up. But for his first day we both wanted to be there. So I'm armed with my camera, and my son telling me " Mommy please don't cry, I will come home soon! " and the teacher opens the door to allow the children into the hallway where their cubbies are located. I decided to get a few shots as he was putting his book bag in his cubby, and all the sudden I started to cry. I was trying hard not to show it, but my husband saw me and put his arm around me to make me feel better. I am such an emotional person, and I've cried each time one of my kids goes to kindergarten for the first time, but I didn't think it would happen for preschool! I quickly recovered myself before turning to walk out the door.

As I was driving my older daughter to school, I kept friggen tearing up! Every single time I thought about my son being in school, I had to wipe tears away. My only son, my precious little boy, is growing up, and it is sad for me! I'll probably be a wreck when it's time for the baby to head off to school! Notice, I call her a baby, but she'll be 2 next month!

On the boob front, all's well. I kind of cheated, and went to the gym the day before my 3 week mark, but I don't think it's a huge deal. It felt great to be back! The girls handled it well, and I made sure to wear one of the tighter sports bras I have to make doubly sure that they didn't go anywhere. Boob sweat is a whole new thing to me and, at least for now, I love it! Life is good, and I'm really glad I chose to have my surgery. Breast augmentation isn't for everyone, but for me, it was the right choice! Love these things!

Time flies when you're having fun!

2007-09-12T13:03:00.000-05:00

Labor Day came and went without much fuss at my house. I worked a 6 hour shift that day, and I was amazed at the sheer number of people who came into the club for their workout. Granted, most came in before 1 pm because they all had their gatherings to attend to, and I think if I didn't have to work that day my husband and I both would have attempted to get our own workouts done!

I had a bit of a dilemma while getting dressed that morning, I wanted to wear one of my new tops, but I worried it might be a tad showy. While looking in the mirror I decided I should ask my husband about it, and he said some might consider it inappropriate and too low cut. While I proceeded to disagree with him, I realized that if I had worried enough to ask his opinion about it, that it probably was inappropriate. Even though I don't have to wear business attire as a front desk receptionist in a health club, I still want to look sporty professional. I sighed and changed into a boring black shirt with a pair of capris. My girls are never going to see the light of day at this rate!

I played some basketball with the kids that night, I was constantly aware of quick movements and used my arms as shields against incoming balls to the chest. We didn't actually play a game, but when you've got young boys ( neighbor kids were playing too! ) throwing basketballs around, it tends to get dangerous! I think it's funny how very aware I am of my new breasts, and how terrified I am that something is going to mess them up!

A few days prior I had decided that it was time for our " baby " to move into her own bed. I reached a point where I had had enough of trying to fight for bed space, of lying there for an hour at a time trying to get her to sleep, and of sneaking around like a mouse when getting up in the morning and trying to get ready. My husband and I realized that it's been 5 years since we slept in the bed together without a kid in between us. How sad is that?!! So we were on day 3 at this point and things were going extremely well with the transition. She was waking up 1-3 times a night and one of us would go and comfort her for a few minutes until she fell back asleep. We should have done this a long time ago!

Massaging my scars

2007-09-09T19:01:00.000-05:00

At my 2 week post op visit Dr. Vanek removed the last of my sutures. No more steri strips either! He recommended that I apply Neosporin twice daily on my scars for one week, then use Kelo-Cote (helps scars heal.) He also said to massage my scars 4 times daily for a minute. It's supposed to help prevent the thick scar tissue from building. Not sure if he meant only the crease incision or all of them, so I just do all of them. Doesn't take long, but I do have to remind myself to do it.

He said I can go back to sleeping flat, but I may need a body pillow because my ligaments aren't used to the new weight from the girls. He assured me that my breasts looked very good and completely normal, they're still high and tight as is expected. He said I can push them together and I can push them up, but not down. It kind of feels funny because I almost feel like I am wheezing when I move them around. Just a weird feeling.

On day 16 we attended a baptism. It was the third week in a row we had some sort of party to attend. My friend had hired a band to play, and the female singer drew some attention to herself, and without meaning to, me as well. The woman was wearing a low cut leopard print tank top with very tight black capris. She was also wearing black shoes with straps tied all the way up to her knees. Now, this woman had a great body, and she wore the outfit well. Unfortunately, it was (in most every one's opinion, including mine) inappropriate for the occasion. Anyway, she looked like she had a boob job. Her breasts were completely perfect and completely round and completely beautiful! I hope mine turn out looking as nice! But regardless, so the other women at the party were staring at her, and that same not so nice girl from last weeks party decides to open her nasty mouth again. She's actually family, so I can't escape her! But she's sitting 2 tables away with a couple of women, and a whole table full of people I have no clue who they are in between us. And she yells over to me "Hey 'Millie', is that woman up there your idol?" as she and her buddies laughed. All I could do was shake my head and tell her I wouldn't be caught dead in that outfit.

Now why the heck do people have to be so rude? I have been very open about my surgery, but I'm not exactly walking around with a sign on that says "I just got a boob job." In fact that night I was wearing an outfit that I wore to church earlier in the day. Not an ounce of cleavage or fullness or anything showed. She really ticked me off. I can only hope that one day she gets a dose of her own medicine.

10 days

2007-09-09T18:25:00.000-05:00

I love seeing the changes that my breasts have gone thru in even such a short period of time. We take pictures every few days to track the progress, and I even plan on scrapbooking my journey into Boobieville! Not something that I'll leave out on the coffee table for all to see, but something small for me to look back on. Maybe even when my daughters are older we can discuss this journey. They know I've had this surgery and they know that I am willing to discuss anything with them. I sure hope they don't get screwed in the boob department like I did!

My first day back to work was interesting. I only work 6 hour shifts, but I was worried that I would get tired. The girls who knew I had surgery were all looking and asking me how everything went. I wore a conservative top but you could still see fullness that wasn't there before! The night did go by fast, and I was very tired when I got home.

I had started taking 30 min walks at a brisk pace, something to get me out of the house and in the fresh air. I didn't trust myself to actually go to the gym, the temptation to do more than just walk on the treadmill would have been alot to deal with. My hubby and I recently got ourselves Ipod shuffles, those things have been great for our workouts. My walks helped me physically and emotionally, and that Ipod helped make them go fast. Those 30 min walks easily turned into 45 min ones =) I kept a steady eye on my heart rate, keeping it at about 60% of it's maximum, and made sure not to bounce the girls around at all. In recent months I have come to really love how I feel after a good workout, and even though I was only walking, it still felt good to be doing something more than sitting at home on my butt.

I was still sleeping in the chair at night. Sometimes I would fall asleep with the baby at her nap time, and I always felt more uncomfortable in the bed with those pillows. I also worried that she might accidentally smack my breasts when she was moving around. I used a pillow under each arm that I used as a shield against wandering legs and arms. I wonder how roller coasters are going to be from now on....I'll probably always be worried those shoulder things are going to burst my boobs! Funny what you think of when you're lying in bed wishing your kid would just go to sleep already so you can go back downstairs and surf the breast aug forums =)

One week!

2007-09-09T17:52:00.000-05:00

The first week flew by pretty fast. I was so excited to actually finally have breasts that I went to the mall and shopped for some new tops. Lucky for me, the stores are clearing out all their summer merchandise so I was able to get some cute things for our upcoming cruise at dirt cheap prices! I got a gorgeous halter top which I love because I've never had the chest before to make those styles look good! I even managed to find a shirt that shows just the right amount of cleavage! Perfect for the party we were going to that weekend! I was so excited about it that I accidentally left my cell phone in the dressing room and had to run back to get it lol!

When I got home from shopping, I took some Tylenol and decided to rest for a bit. I just get more tired more easily since the surgery. It doesn't help that I probably was pushing a little to hard and doing a little too much. I am a mover and a shaker, can't stay still for too long!

We attended a birthday party on day 9. I wore my new top and felt really great in it. Of course, there's always going to be someone who has a smartass comment to make, and this time was no different. I wasn't even in the door before the whole "Omg the twins are here!" was said to me. I actually didn't mind that comment because I was wearing a shirt to show them off. What I did mind was that very same girl telling one of my friends (behind my back of course) how she didn't think my breasts looked very big yada yada yada. Funny thing is, I wasn't ever the one saying I was getting implants to have huge breasts, this not so nice person was the one who always made it sound like 425cc was going to be some sort of monstrosity on me. Anyway, when I heard about it, I just laughed and told my hubby she was jealous.

We did have a good time at the party, the kids got to run around and play with other kids their age and I was able to spend some time snuggling with a friend's new baby, which is good because I've been needing a baby fix lately =) And like I've posted before, hubby and I are done in that department. I splurged and allowed myself a half of a piece of birthday cake even though I am sure I didn't need it! Everyone needs a treat now and then, especially when you're sleeping sitting up in a recliner =)

First sutures come out

2007-09-06T17:59:00.000-05:00

I drove for the first time on Day 6. Since I knew I was driving myself to Dr. Vanek's office, I decided to give myself a head start and drove to the bank. It wasn't painful really, but it did make me sore, and it was a lot harder than before I had surgery for sure! Backing up...that was fun. It was hard trying to turn and look out the back window while manipulating the steering wheel. And I couldn't close the side doors on my minivan, there's like this little edge at the back so the doors don't just slide forward when they are open, and I didn't have the strength or mobility to get the door over that hump. Thank God for kids!

It was really an uneventful ride but when we got home I was ready for some Extra Strength Tylenol. Again, just a little sore. When my husband got home, I drove myself to the office appointment and made sure to find a spot where I could pull thru and not have to back up when it was time to leave. I've become a pro at those spots since then!

I was scared to see my uncovered scars for the first time. Dr. Vanek wanted me to look, and tried to prep me for what I would see. When he handed me the mirror and I looked at them I was surprised and said " They don't look bad! I was expecting bad! " I think I shocked Dr. Vanek by that! I had seen pictures of anchor lift scars, and I must have seen some bad ones, because mine didn't look anything like them! There was no thick scabbing or anything on them, no oozing or blood or anything gross. Just looked like someone painted my nipples on LOL. We talked about that whole bra being way too small thing, and I purchased 2 more bigger bras from him before I left the office. No more cute pink ones, but I'd rather have the comfort I think! We chatted about the difference with the dropping, and it's normal and nothing to be worried about. He reapplied new thinner steri strips and I left his office in good spirits.

It's hard to believe it's been nearly a week since surgery. And it's been way better than I could have imagined. I'm still glad I did it!

I'm human again!

2007-09-06T17:32:00.000-05:00

Thankfully day 4 was like a one hit wonder and by day 5 I was back to my "really happy I did this and I do like my boobs and everything is going great" self again. I even cleaned the half bathroom, did some laundry, fixed lunch for the kids and got the kitchen cleaned up. And then my body reminded me that I needed to rest, so I took a short nap with the little one while the older girls watched their brother. Since I needed to sleep at an angle, I propped a good 6 or so pillows under me in bed while I layed with her. It was not as comfortable as the chair, and I decided the only time I would lie like that was when I was putting her down for her nap. Yeah yeah, I know, she needs to sleep in her own bed. But I have co slept with all my kids, and I've loved it. She's just older than the rest were when I transitioned them into their beds.

After that morning of doing more than I probably should, I took it easy the rest of the day. Now, I don't remember if I've mentioned this before, but I'm telling you now....the bloat.....is bad. Susan had told me that the anesthesia and pain meds can constipate you, and I had everything I needed to combat it, but no one mentioned the whole bloating thing to me. Some of it may have been because of the whole plumbing issue, because things weren't too normal in that department either, but holy cow, I didn't expect what I saw when I looked in the mirror. During the planning phase of my aug, I had said how nice it would be to have my very full D pregnancy/nursing breasts without having to compete with the big ole belly. Heck if they weren't competing on day 5! Considering how long and hard I had worked to lose the baby weight I wasn't real happy with the situation.

Thankfully, I learned it was completely normal to be bloated, and that it would slowly go away over the next few days. I hadn't gotten on the scale since surgery, since I had read many women's reports that they had gained immediately afterwards, but that it was only temporary. I just hoped it ended quickly for me because I am not a patient person!

Think I jinxed it!

2007-09-06T17:09:00.000-05:00

I thought it was kind of easy street after day 3, but I was wrong! I read that days 1-3 were the toughest for the majority of breast aug patients. Not for me! Day 4 hit and I was miserable. It wasn't even necessarily pain, there was definitely some swelling, and I don't know if it peaked that day or what, but my bra suddenly felt not just 1 size too small but maybe 10! I kept tugging at it and complaining and calling my hubby telling him " I don't think this thing is supposed to be this damn tight! " He encouraged me to call Dr. Vanek, but me being the stubborn person I am, I just suffered. Just not quietly!

I had some plans to maybe go out and take a drive that day, but I was clearly in no shape to do it. I was only taking Tylenol for discomfort, but that bra thing had me going batty. Then my emotions went totally haywire and I just started hating my breasts. Like I took that one thing with an uncomfortable bra and I blew it into a whole scenario of I never should have done this surgery and this is just ridiculous and I can't stand not being able to move and do every darned thing I want to when I want to!

I'm going to say now that I firmly believe my 4 year old took over my capabilities to think logically and reasonably. There's no other explanation for that insanity!

I told my husband numerous times, " Today is the worst day since surgery! " All things considered, it really wasn't that bad, and if that's the worst to be had, then this recovery will be a cakewalk. Sometimes, I think it was worse for my husband than it was for me. I mean, I was still doing stuff, but I wasn't doing everything that everyone was used to me doing. And after 4 days, it was starting to wear on him. I will admit that part of me felt like he was finally getting to see what I went through on a daily basis. But my husband does help around the house, daily, just not to the extent in which he was doing at the time.

I finally settled down after the kids were in bed and my hubby was off taking his nightly run. I think part of me was jealous that he could run and I couldn't. But I wanted these boobs right?